When you find yourself pregnant for the very first time, there are a myriad of fears that will travel through your brain during the nine months that your child is in your womb.
What will labor feel like?
Will I know when it's REALLY time?
How bad will it hurt?
Can I do it?
Will my baby be okay?
What if I have to get a c-section?
What if my water breaks in public?
What if I go into labor early?
And so on and so on. A hormonal woman's mind can cause a brain to go into worry overload.
I was no different. I was 22 and it was the summer before my junior year in college. I was working three jobs and taking a full course load. It was a busy time in my life. My now husband and I were not yet married
and made some choices that weren't pleasing to the Lord that resulted in two little pink lines showing a plus sign when I took a pregnancy test. I didn't panic. I had known when I made certain choices that there were certain risks that came along with them. What I did do was to start making plans. I was now going to be responsible for
a child. Time to get serious.
We were married, we got an apartment, and prepared to meet our first child. One of the things that I learned that first go round was to
have patience. Due dates are estimations not expiration dates. As my February 10th due date came and went, I struggled deeply with disappointment. I was young enough that none of my friends had their own children yet. In fact I had only ONE married friend back then. I had no one to ask questions or compare notes with and it left me dealing with each new thing on my own.
Why wasn't this baby coming OUT!? Didn't she know that I was huge and uncomfortable and eager to hold her in my arms?
Patience.
Every few days after my due date, I went in for a non stress test and monitoring, just to make sure that baby was still doing well. On February 16th, I went in for an ultrasound to check fluid levels. Everything was fine until I heard the words, "
Hold on a moment. I'll be back in a second." The ultrasound technician then left in a hurry, leaving me and my husband sitting there, becoming very worried.
When she returned with the doctor, two sets of faces studied the ultrasound screen rather intently. My heart started racing. Then the doctor turned to us and said, "
You are a very lucky woman."
What is she talking about? I thought.
Turns out I had a placental abruption. Normally, women experience bleeding when this happens so there is a warning. I had not. Mine had clotted. At any time, the clot could loosen or move and our baby would be in danger. So, the decision was made to not take any unnecessary risks and to get set up to be induced. My birth plan went out the window.
We were allowed to return home and retrieve my hospital bag. We even stopped for a bite to eat before heading back to the hospital. When we finally arrived and got checked in, I changed into the ugly hospital gown and was hooked up to various monitors. I had half of a citotec pill inserted to help ripen my cervix and the plan was to start a Pitocin drip the following morning. A few hours later, I was checked and nothing had progressed so they gave me the other half of the citotec.
At about 3AM, contractions started and they were not going to give me an easy start. Because of the medication, they were very unnaturally spaced, one on top of the other and came fast and HARD. I hyperventilated several times. It was extremely painful and I was in tears. The nurses and my midwife would only allow me to stay in the bed or to rock in hard wooden chair and none of that relieved my pain.
I was checked and they discovered that the baby was "sunny side up" (face up, rather than the preferred face down) and this caused very intense and sharp back labor. I had fully intended on an unmedicated, natural birth, but after several hours with no reprieve, I yielded and asked for an epidural. I was so exhausted, so depleted of energy, that mere moments after the epidural was administered, I fell deeply asleep for nearly an hour.
My contractions continued to be heavier and harder, but the epidural helped me better cope with them. The pain in my back was still sharp, but lessened. Finally at around 6 PM, my water broke and it was time to push. Having never given birth before, I was nervous and unsure of what to do. My midwife at the time was not a very calming personality and tended to bark orders rather than try to instruct and soothe. I am so very thankful that my husband was at my side, whispering to me that
I could do this because without him, I don't know how I would have gotten through the next nearly
two hours of pushing. The epidural had worn off quite a bit by this time and the pain in my back was nearly unbearable and excruciating. I had to argue with the nurses and midwife to get them to allow me to change positions, so that I was not lying on my back where the majority of my labor pain was centered.
I tried to keep my focus on my little baby girl who was
almost here. Finally,
finally, at 7:42 PM on February 17, 2006, my little sweetpea princess, Gabriella entered this world.
I didn't care about my vaginal tear or about the 16+ hours that I had spent laboring to bring her into the world.
She was here. What a miracle.
Looking back, I wish that I had been better educated about many things. I would never have allowed them to use the cytotec and I would have been more demanding about certain needs that I had during labor. I knew after that to avoid induction at all costs unless it was absolutely necessary.
In the end, the only real thing that mattered was that my baby girl was in my arms and she was beautiful and perfect, simply because
she was ours for keeps.
Have you ever been induced? What was your experience with it?
Sharing with:
A Mama's Story, Raising Arrows, The Better Mom, The Modest Mom, What Joy is Mine, Far Above Rubies, Growing Home, Time Warp Wife, Raising Homemakers, Deep Roots at Home, Hearts for Home, Women Living Well, and Raising Mighty Arrows
